Father and Son Together Again!
There was a time that you could not separate my husband and son. There actually came a point where I was jealous of their relationship. Then once again, my husband was deployed. This time that he was deployed, I was left with a child who has just turned 1 and a half. What do you tell a child of this age about their daddy being deployed? I found myself in a difficult situation. He was the age of one and a half and already knew who daddy was, what was I to do? How was I going to explain this?
After daddy had been gone for a couple of days, the questions already started coming in from my little one, “Where is daddy?” What was I supposed to tell that adorable little face? I had to tell him the truth. I told him that daddy would be away for a long time but then he will be back again. Everyday I continued to show him pictures of daddy. I also set up a webcam so he could see his daddy. It gave my son comfort being able to see his daddy every once in awhile. That was not the difficult part though.
What was more difficult was when daddy came home. My son, of course,
began to test daddy. Now, as we all know, when our soldier comes home, they go through a “culture” shock. It is hard enough for them to adjust to their “new” environment and then have to deal with a child testing them. I will tell you this was not easy for all of us. What seemed to help my son’s emotions was alone time with daddy. Daddy would set up time with him and go do something that both of them would enjoy. What seemed to help quite a bit was when I had to go away for a business trip (a whole week!). During the week that I was gone, they were able to bond. As much as it may hurt, sometimes it’s best for the person who was with them the whole time to actually stay away for awhile.
The other issue that came along, is that my son always wanted “mommy to do it” and not daddy. This literally broke my husband’s heart. We had to explain to my son that mommy wasn’t always going to be around to do everything and that daddy can help him too. It’s only been 11 months since my husband came home and my son continues to go through some things with his father. My son, however, is warming up to daddy and they get along much better now. They continue to get closer and still set up “together” time at least once a month. My son now tells his daddy that he loves him and that he’s “the best daddy ever!” My son may not realize it now but the sacrifice that his daddy has made was worth it. His daddy, in my eyes, is a hero and helped to protect our country. When my son gets older, I will tell him that he really does have “the best daddy ever!